“Walk the plank!” Captain Billy ordered, his sword swooshing menacingly above his head. I looked out at the wooden walkway of doom and gulped as seagulls and vultures circled and crowed above. The sea salt filled my nostrils and I began to feel sick.
“b.b.but…” I stammered, one foot tentatively examining the boards.
“But nothing, ya scurvy sea-dog!” he roared, stepping forward and forcing me to put two feet upon the plank.
Captain Billy lowered his sword and jabbed at my ribs. “MOVE!” he barked.
“Oww! Billy, that really hurt” I cried, tears welling up. “Mum! Billy poked me again!”
Submitted for Friday Fictioneers photo prompt. See if you can write a piece of flash fiction in 100 words.
me.you.coffee 
Dear Mr. Binks,
How cute is this! Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
🙂 Thanks, Rochelle.
HaHa! Loved it!
Why thank you!
Nice, made me chuckle! I think you’ve brilliantly captured the imagination of young children and how it’s all fun and games until someone gets poked in the ribs.
I’m pleased to have raised a titter!
Great twist. Loved it.
Thanks for reading 🙂
Well done. This is a really cute story with the dialoge of a typical child. I enjoyed it.
Thanks, I’m pleased you enjoyed it.
It’s always fun until it isn’t. Very realistic dialogue!
janet
It’s always the way. Still, let’s enjoy it whilst it lasts.
Ain’t that the way of it. Walking the plank is fine, but don’t poke anybody. 🙂 Cute story. I remember this sort of thing from when I was small, playing with my sister.
-David
Never, EVER poke someone. Unless you really mean it.
Thanks for reading, David.
I remember those days with my brother. He was the one doing the poking, the jerk.
ha ha ha, I mean… oh. er, Booo. ; )
P.S. GREAT photo!
Sweet!
Thanks 🙂
Cuteness overload 🙂
I hear that a lot…
I love how you revealed it to be a game right at the end. Great job! My only “criticism” is a simple grammar one … The comma after “Captain Billy” is separating a subject and verb. I bet it was a typo. 🙂
Ooh good spot! Glad it didn’t spoil the story for you.
Never! Although I can’t seem to turn off my inner editor. Sometimes I wish I could. *sigh* 🙂
very cute 🙂 the ending made me smile.
Well then, my work here is done.
The games we played as children felt so real! I feel the protagonist’s fear. 🙂
Alas, they all fade away. I think we need to all play pirates a lot more.
That danged ole Billy is a menacing brother!
I’d say he’s a normal one 😉
You made me feel as if I was there with him, Mr Binks. Good one.
What a lovely comment. That’s all we strive for with these things, surely?
I enjoyed this.
Cheers.
Very funny story. Nicely written
Thank you very much.
Your story stirred up memories of my own childhood
Well told 🙂
I’m sorry that you were poked with sticks 😉
You captured that really well, darling. The transition at the end was seamless.
Glad to hear you enjoyed it, my dear.
Oh! What a cute story, made me remember my childhood
Nicely!
Billy’s a Bully and no mistake!
He’ll get his comeuppance I’m sure!
Nice surprise ending. Dark became light. Adult became child. Ann
There needs to be more light!
There’s lots of light. It just needs letting loose more. 🙂
Nicely done!
Regards
Jim
Thanks, Jim!
I knew it was brotherly love from the first sentence Nice!
I’m glad you kept reading though 😉
I have to admit, I saw it coming, ,but it’s a cute story nonetheless.
Cheers!
MG
It’s not my main goal to trick people, I promise! ; )
Nice (s)word play there Mr Binks-enjoyed this:-)
Oh no, THAT is good!
🙂
Great imaginative story. Well done.
Thanks for reading. Please do come back again.
delightful story that takes the memory back to those wonderful role playing days. lovely!
We need to remember them!
I love the use of the unexpected. The use of narration in this short of a story is very sophisticated: acutely aware of the fullness of imagination being framed in a greater reality. Very well done. It would be even stronger if the first sentence did not include the name of the captain. Let that be a part of the reveal, and the narrator will be even more fully wrapped up in his imagination until an untoward reaction to the poking jars him back into the playroom.
Hmm, yeah I can see how that would work. Good call. I tend to knock these out in about 10 minutes on a Wednesday morning to be fair, but closer analysis would probably help identify that kind of thing. I’m glad you still enjoyed it, and thanks for the kind feedback.
That was gloriously sweet 🙂
Thanks, Helen 🙂
Shoot, my husband had 2 younger brothers and they tied the littlest one to a post in the barn and set it on fire – hubby saved brother over the barn – good choice. This is hilarious and fun. Kids! Thanks, Nan
O_O
Good grief!
Aah to be a kid again! Way to capture the joys (and pains) of childhood!
Thanks, Riya!