Super quick note: If you’ve enjoyed my story, or any of my stories on Friday Fictioneers, I’d love it if you checked out my new eBook!
My debut collection of short stories, People Watching, is now available to buy on Amazon for less than the price of a Big Mac.
People Watching contains fifty two, one hundred word stories covering a wealth of subjects including love, friendship, death, sex, plums, religion and chicken kiev all prompted by 52 fantastic photographs taken by friends and myself. (Sound familiar?)
Thanks for reading – and if you haven’t tried your hand at Friday Fictioneering, then give it ago. This link will tell you how (and this link will take you to my book).
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What Lies, Beneath
Fred hadn’t been seen since last Wednesday. He’d gone shopping at the local supermarket (he was short on toffees, Fixodent and cat food) and everyone had assumed he’d had one of “his turns”.
The truth was much richer. On wandering towards the nearby lake, Fred had been convinced he’d seen a car drive by underneath. Leaving his trolley at the shore (he was 91, he’d earned the right to take his trolley with him) he walked straight into the lake.
What lay beneath was a glorious city never before seen by foot-using man.
Probably.
Fred’s dead now.
He drowned, obviously.
me.you.coffee 
Dear Mr. Binks,
Poor Fred. Congrats on your ebook.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks, Rochelle.
That’s quite the twist ending, although I guess it’s to be expected. It leaves the reader wondering what’s real, in other words, what he actually saw, if anything. It reminds me a bit of the H.P. Lovecraft story “Celephaïs”, where a man goes to another realm and is crowned king, but we find out at the end he’s a homeless man who drowned. Interesting take on the picture.
-David
I’ll check it out, thanks.
I can see this happening.. But I’m a little bit sad.. and yes why not find your yellow-brick road underneath.
🙂 Don’t be sad… *hugs*
Ha! Obviously…
; )
How have you made me laugh at such a tragic story? Very clever!
Because you’re easily amused, or I’m a genius? (I think I know the answer to that.)
Hilarious! Good, dry humor. If he had been eating all those toffees, he really WAS short on Fixodent!
Thanks for the kind comment. Glad you enjoyed it!
New meaning to he drifted away. Good story.
Thanks for reading (and commenting). (and reading this reply to your comment.)
Mr. Binks, Dark humor but humorous nevertheless. 🙂 Poor old Fred. Well he won’t need Fixodent in this new life. It looks like he truly went to a better place in a way. 🙂
Susan
Thanks for the nice comment, Susan.
Fixodent and toffees! What a hoot. Well done. And at 91 this lovely man deserved to find a gorgeous place.
I quite liked his shopping list 😀 Thanks – glad you enjoyed it.
Maybe he found Atlantis. 🙂
janet
If that lake is anything like the ones around here, he probably just found another shopping trolley at the bottom of the lake.
Lovely terse style! 🙂 Well done!
Thanks Sandra 🙂
hee hee, another belter 🙂
Praise indeed. Thanks, Helen. Go on… try the book, you know you want to 😉
Shoot, I was so hopeful for a moment.
As it happens, I’d love to have opened the world under the lake, but you know… 100 words. 😀
Congratulations on the eBook.
Sounds as though Fred should have heeded the warning from T.S. Eliot’s “Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock”: “‘Til human voices wake us and we drown.”
Cheers!
MG
Thanks MG. I’m very proud of it, and I do hope some of the Friday Fictioneering people will click a link and take a peek – I’d love to hear their opinions.
Thanks for commenting – I’ll check out Lovesong.
Hi Mr Binks. For just a moment I was excited by this new world he’d found. Then, unfortunately, reality flooded in…
Alas, it always bloody does.
Cute twist, though I don’t know what you mean by trolley. Is it a trolley like in the U.S. or a Britishism?
Thanks for reading. When is a trolley not a trolley?
Cute story, well done. I was going to ask if MrBinks was British, but, as they say on Coronation St. – or Lewis – or even Poirot, it’s bloody obvious. 😉
Poor Fred. But perhaps he left this world happy…amazed by his “discovery” of a wondrous place, and blissfully unaware that he was headed for the end. Not a bad way to go.
Dear Mister Binks, What a cute tale – love it! Love it! Thanks, Nan 🙂
🙂 Thanks, Nan! I do hope you’ll check out the tales in my eBook. They’re just as silly.
Poor, poor Fred. Mazel on the new book!
Thanks very much! I hope you’ll give it a try.
I think it was a happy ending, ending being the operative word.
🙂 thanks for reading.
Great bit of humour there Mr.Binks!! Gave me a good laugh!! (thanks for liking my story despite its dooming quality!) Congrats too on getting your book published, that’s amazing! Just out of curiosity, are you an Oasis fan?? (I ask because of your sites tagline)…
Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for commenting. And thank you for the thanks on the book launch, it’s essentially more 100 word nonsense – I’ve enjoyed putting it together.
Yup, I am. I tend to change the tagline every now and then 🙂
Well, enjoying your writing is the #1 priority; any plans for the future with more publishing for you?? (I thought I got it right about Oasis!)
‘What lies beneath’ could also be ‘What lies beyond’. Your clever story is balanced between two worlds, both of which are real according to the perception of the character and the reader. I will steal this ‘edgy’ technique for my own use, especially as I’m doing an art project at present entitled ‘Below the Line’. With my editing hat on, I’d suggest changing “… he was short on toffees, … ” to “… “he’d been …” for consistency of verb tense. 🙂 I love the list of items your 91 year old went out to buy, which, again cleverly, is a characterisation aid. I wish I’d written this! Ann
Good call on the tense – I am still learning 😉
That last line is one of the kindest things I’ve ever read. Thank you very much. If you liked this, then please (PLEASE) give my book a try. http://www.amazon.co.uk/People-Watching-Peter-Abbey-ebook/dp/B00K1I4UZ2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399016381&sr=8-1&keywords=people+watching+peter+abbey
I’ve downloaded a sample of your book onto my iPad to read and in all probability, I’ll buy the tale. 🙂
Lovely, thanks 🙂
Oh, and if you need any proofreading/editing done, think of me. In the interests of expanding my editing portfolio, I sometimes do a few pages pro bono. 🙂
I shall keep you in mind, thanks for letting me know.
Fun/sad tale.Great stuff. Toffees and Fixadent? He lived dangerously.
Thanks for reading. Glad you picked up on that 🙂
Mr Binks, you are the master of the insane last line. I still remember your ghost story that ended ‘ghosts don’t exist’. Very funny stuff 🙂
Why thank you.
(Buy my book).
😉
I love his shopping list. It says so much in so few words. (I’ll have to steal that idea sometime) I enjoyed your story.
Hey, no thievery! ;D Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.
Oh no, poor Fred 😦 Maybe someone should have been looking out for him.
So long, Fred. I’m worried about his cat. Has anyone fed it? Loved it. Lucy
Coming soon: The Adventures of Dead Fred’s Cat.
Oh, well, it’s a good way to go, I guess, full of wonder at a new discovery.
Full of wonder at a new discovery. The discovery that one’s lungs can’t hold oxygen when filled with water? ;D
Your title is perfect. The story leaves the reader still asking, “What DOES lie beneath?” Nice take on this prompt. Hardly anyone writes pure fantasy anymore, and this fills that void.
I think the answer is: Fred’s shoes.
Thanks for reading.
Great story, whatever Fred saw or thought he saw was real in his eyes. I hope it was as nice as he expected 🙂