Andrew was a dental practitioner. Whilst it said “Dentist” on his office door, the word “Performer” was emblazoned across his heart.
Every last Thursday of the month he’d down tools, grab his suitcase and rush to the moored ferry. A long weekend, the sea, stage lights and rapturous applause would await him.
Whilst he loved to sing to a captive audience with all the glitz and glamour, sparkles and general razzle-dazzle of his routine, he’d still have preferred a stage on dry land. He always found it tricky to shave his legs and apply makeup when the waters were choppy.
This piece was submitted as part of Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. 1 photograph. 100 words. Over 120 people taking part.
me.you.coffee 
Brilliant! Enjoyed this very much. I felt for him and really, you created quite a character there..
Dear Peter,
I’ve learned to put my coffee down while reading your stories. I definitely would’ve spewed at your last line.
Should it be “he’d PUT down his tools?” without put it sounds like he swallowed them.
Aside from that…highly entertaining.
shalom,
Rochelle
PS. The title just hit me. Good job on that, too.
😉
Ha, fine praise indeed.
As for “downed tools” it’s certainly a phrase here in the UK. Perhaps it doesn’t travel? Besides, my way works for nailing the 100 words limit!
I wondered if that wasn’t the case but it never hurts to ask. So it turns out that I’m the one who learned something. 😉
Clever title; clever characterisation.
Thanks. I felt good about it this week – this one felt more in keeping with the other stories from my book, People Watching 🙂
Perfect! 😀 Still laughing…
Too kind!
Shame on you, stealing my character. They’re MY legs! 😉
Hello, Dawn.
Docked me too ! 😀
– what a characterization !
Cheers!
Once again really funny Mr Binks! I just got the ‘doctor’ bit too. Brilliant. ‘Downing tools’ works here in Australia 🙂
Why thank you, m’lady.
For those interested, my FF piece was written as #replyfiction to this one. Here’s the link:
http://jessieansons.com/2014/06/11/the-black-sheep-of-the-family-friday-fictioneers/
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I approve this silliness.
Andrew is living to the fullest, good for him. Maybe he shouldn’t leave shaving his legs for the last minute, there are so many better methods. Good story.
I quite agree, what a fool!
Mr. Binks, Hilarious. I also laughed out loud. 😀 Does Andrew ever fill teeth during his act? I’d like to see that. In fact, teeth or no teeth, I’d like to see that act. Well done. 🙂 ___Susan
Thanks for the kind comment. It is my pleasure to make you laugh – though I’m thinking now of, perhaps, a minutely rate.
I would suggest a wax! Lasts longer… Love the use of “whilst”…We don’t hear that in the states much.
🙂 Thanks for reading.
Amusing as always—I love that you spool out details and still manage to surprise in your final sentence.
Super comment. Might frame this one. Thanks, Hannah 😀
If you frame said comment, send a photo so I can frame the photo of my framed comment.
…what?
If I do, and you do, you know that I’d want you to send a…
*puts the kettle on*
… and then we’d have a 100 photos of photos \o/
Well, as long as there’s tea!
Ah.. maybe he should start to shave his legs at the practice.. his customer might appreciate his new looks.
A singing dentist. Something I could get use to…
See, now I’m reminded of this…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHsDKqKE_kc
I agree with Rochelle only I was eating a sandwich that almost landed on the key pad. Wonderful twist at the end. Kudos.
Goodness, people around here really need to control their eating and drinking habits ;D
Another laugh out loud one, brill 🙂
*tips hat* thank you ma’am.
What a contrast – I will try and call up these images next time I am at the dentist 🙂
🙂 Sounds like a plan!
The title is brilliant, the filling superbe, the ending delightful. I will try to wipe the mouthfull of tea that I spewed across my screen…:)
That seems to be a bit of a theme today! 😀
This is very interesting! The only thing that I stumbled on is “downed tools,” but then I read the comments and realized it’s an UK phrase, so then it was fine for me. I really like the juxtaposition of the dentistry and performer, and the title is hilarious!
It sounds like you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading, and even more for taking the time to comment. I do hope you’ll come back soon.
Oh that was good. Wish I’d thought of it! lol
haha, lovely comment. Thank you.
Funny story, but I hope that’s not what my dentist does, trilling when he’s not drilling.
🙂 Thanks for stopping by.
Clever. Jessie sent me.
Thanks – though that sounded like a threat! 😀
Haha Binks was causing trouble so I sent the muscle to sort it out.
the ending is brilliant, Loved the story
Thanks – very kind of you.
That’s very funny. Not too many scars, I hope.
(A lot of us may well have Performer emblazed on our hearts.)
Thank you 🙂
Dear Mr. Binks, I love your story and your country has the neatest mysteries and dramas via PBS for us to watch. I too, was confused about the “downed tools” comment. Your title is so clever! Good job! Nan 🙂
Hi Nan,
Thanks for the kind comment. I can’t take credit for the British dramas, but the title was all me 😉
I did not see that coming. Funny and well done!
Thank you Lisa.
Ha ha! Brilliant! Maybe a Brazilian friend could have helped during these waxing times.
I believe all the Brazilians are busy this week 🙂
Razzle-dazzle really did it for me! This was an absolute delight to read! 🙂
I hope you read Razzle-dazzle with a slight Chicago accent.
Sorry to disappoint, but it’s a lower-Michigan accent. I’ll reread it over with the Chicago one though! 🙂
A clever title and a funny finish. Excellent take on the prompt, Mr Binks 🙂
Thank you, sir.
more like he “tucked his tool”:) haha. great take, very creative!
:-O how rude! 😉
I bet he really looks forward to his monthly drag act. Very funny!
Thanks for the kind comment.
Love the fact that you made the boat the focus of the story, rather than the dentist’s tools. Beautiful take! And that title! Oh, that title 🙂
It sounds like you liked it!
The last line made me laugh. I bet it’s difficult to shave those legs and apply makeup when the water’s choppy. Great take on the prompt. Well done. Lucy
Thank you for the lovely comment, Lucy.
There is more action on the boat than in the clinic.This made me smile and then laugh. Shaving on choppy water is tricky , then why now shift to waxing.
I’m glad it made you smile. Thanks for the comment.
Good for Andrew – I know one or two Trannie performers and they’re great!
ha ha! Thanks for reading.