“One day we’ll be looking down from up there and we’ll laugh about all of this,” Katie looked for recognition but Piers didn’t flinch.
“Do you believe,” she started.
“If you’re asking whether I believe that you and I will ride off into the sunset with our heads held high, troubles lost in a cloud of memories, our bloodied hands washed away by the dusk-drenched rivers, and our souls purified by a greater power then…” he paused. Katie fingered the cross around her neck.
“I think we’ve probably pissed him off. Just how forgiving do you think he is?”
Here’s a little 100-worder for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. Please feel free to comment, critique, like or subscribe for more!
Want to hear me read this to you?
Oh, and don’t forget to check out the other stories based on this picture.
me.you.coffee 
Nice. I like the fact that they could be talking about some bad but normal event they’ve both been party to, or something much greater than themselves – like ruining the planet – and ‘him’ is some God-like being.
Thanks for reading, glad you liked it 🙂
What on earth have they done? I shudder to think. At least he’s under no illusion forgiveness will come easily. He may be right. Great tale Mr Binks
Thanks for reading, Lynn.
My pleasure 🙂
Seriously! What have they done? Although he is realistic, they both seem to be unnervingly calm. Brrr!
Yikes! Those two seem real nice.
Don’t they just 😉
Dear Peter,
I have to wonder what they’ve done. Her feeling of remorse is tangible. Good bit of writing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
What a kind comment. Thank you.
I don’t know what they’ve done, but I’m certain they’re going to live to regret it. Loved the third para.
Thanks Sandra.
Ooh! This lake is deadly!
Is it Jesus they’re talking about, or Nessie? Nicely done.
Bloodied hands sounds ominous. Something unsettling in the way they talk so matter of factly too. Nicely done.
Thanks Iain.
Sounds like they’re in a lot of trouble to me. Forgiveness doesn’t come without repentance, and even then, there are still consequences.
I’m not sure they will ever laugh about it! Let’s hope forgiveness is forthcoming.
Children will be children, that is how lessons are learned. Lovely writing.
Thank you
I love the tension between these two, she seems a bit naive and he’s more practical. I wonder what they’ve done?
Thanks for the kind words.
Well of nothing else, he Sounds like a poetic soul. Such descriptive words! I wonder, too, why he thinks there’s no forgiveness.
Beautifully written. I like where the prompt took you, I went to a similar place. I agree with Sandra the third paragraph was artfully crafted to create doubt and questions.
Thank you
Ah, the bloodied hands, her fingering her cross. Lots of great detail here. Even if we don’t know how it came about. Well done.
Thanks!
the dusk-drenched rivers What a yummy line. Your story left me with so many questions. Wonderfully done.
Very kind!
The curiosity is piqued. what have they done? Good story.
You’ve got everyone wondering! Brilliant Mr B.
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Interesting — I like how the “bloodied hands” might be literal (in which case, yeah, their god might not be so forgiving) or figurative, in which case he might be talking about anything. And yet, don’t we all at one time feel guilt about deeds done or undone and wonder if we deserve forgiveness?
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
You ramp up the tension well. Katie’s first line could apply to thwarted aspirations, or general misery. Then you introduce ‘bloodied hands’, which could be literal or metaphorical, but definitely nudges the reader in the direction of serious transgression. Your last line of course introduces the thought that Piers suspects that what they’ve done may be unforgivable; and that really makes the imagination work overtime. Murder? Mass murder? Murder of a close family member for their money?
BTW I think maybe you mean wash their bloodied hands clean, rather than wash their bloodied hands away, which conjures up a rather grisly vision of severed limbs…
Thanks for reading. Hmm, I think you’re technically right but it doesn’t scan as well – and I’m always wanting to hit that 100 word limit on the nose so occasionally things do slip. Thank you for the feedback!
You have your audience clamoring for more!
🙂 Now if only I’d meant that.
Loved the imagery here. Bloodied hands, and fingering the cross. Such is human nature to justify wrong doings – you captured this well. But Piers seems to at least realise the evil of their deed.
Thanks Fatima
Loved listening to you read your story (lovely voice) and that you left us questioning the “what” they have done to “whom”… Beautiful descriptions.
Thank you very much!
🙂 Loved this, great characters and I’m left wondering what bloodied their hands. What have this pair been up to!
Thanks! Pleased you liked it.
Why do I get the feeling that a vampire is involved here? Well done!