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The Great Beyond

“One day we’ll be looking down from up there and we’ll laugh about all of this,” Katie looked for recognition but Piers didn’t flinch.

“Do you believe,” she started.

“If you’re asking whether I believe that you and I will ride off into the sunset with our heads held high, troubles lost in a cloud of memories, our bloodied hands washed away by the dusk-drenched rivers, and our souls purified by a greater power then…” he paused. Katie fingered the cross around her neck.

“I think we’ve probably pissed him off. Just how forgiving do you think he is?”

Here’s a little 100-worder for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. Please feel free to comment, critique, like or subscribe for more!

Want to hear me read this to you? 

Oh, and don’t forget to check out the other stories based on this picture.

rogers-sunset

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44 responses to “The Great Beyond”

  1. Claire Fuller

    Nice. I like the fact that they could be talking about some bad but normal event they’ve both been party to, or something much greater than themselves – like ruining the planet – and ‘him’ is some God-like being.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading, glad you liked it 🙂

      Reply
  2. Lynn Love

    What on earth have they done? I shudder to think. At least he’s under no illusion forgiveness will come easily. He may be right. Great tale Mr Binks

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading, Lynn.

      Reply
      1. Lynn Love

        My pleasure 🙂

    2. Fluid Phrase

      Seriously! What have they done? Although he is realistic, they both seem to be unnervingly calm. Brrr!

      Reply
  3. Varad

    Yikes! Those two seem real nice.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Don’t they just 😉

      Reply
  4. rochellewisoff

    Dear Peter,

    I have to wonder what they’ve done. Her feeling of remorse is tangible. Good bit of writing.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      What a kind comment. Thank you.

      Reply
  5. Sandra

    I don’t know what they’ve done, but I’m certain they’re going to live to regret it. Loved the third para.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Sandra.

      Reply
  6. Madison Ward

    Ooh! This lake is deadly!

    Reply
  7. J Hardy Carroll

    Is it Jesus they’re talking about, or Nessie? Nicely done.

    Reply
  8. Iain Kelly

    Bloodied hands sounds ominous. Something unsettling in the way they talk so matter of factly too. Nicely done.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Iain.

      Reply
  9. James

    Sounds like they’re in a lot of trouble to me. Forgiveness doesn’t come without repentance, and even then, there are still consequences.

    Reply
  10. Clare Hempstead

    I’m not sure they will ever laugh about it! Let’s hope forgiveness is forthcoming.

    Reply
  11. michael1148humphris

    Children will be children, that is how lessons are learned. Lovely writing.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you

      Reply
  12. Fantastical Fiction

    I love the tension between these two, she seems a bit naive and he’s more practical. I wonder what they’ve done?

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for the kind words.

      Reply
  13. Christine Goodnough

    Well of nothing else, he Sounds like a poetic soul. Such descriptive words! I wonder, too, why he thinks there’s no forgiveness.

    Reply
  14. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    Beautifully written. I like where the prompt took you, I went to a similar place. I agree with Sandra the third paragraph was artfully crafted to create doubt and questions.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you

      Reply
  15. Sascha Darlington

    Ah, the bloodied hands, her fingering her cross. Lots of great detail here. Even if we don’t know how it came about. Well done.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks!

      Reply
  16. Alicia Jamtaas

    the dusk-drenched rivers What a yummy line. Your story left me with so many questions. Wonderfully done.

    Reply
  17. MrBinks

    Very kind!

    Reply
  18. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

    The curiosity is piqued. what have they done? Good story.

    Reply
  19. Keith’s Ramblings

    You’ve got everyone wondering! Brilliant Mr B.

    Click to read my FriFic!

    Reply
  20. Joy Pixley

    Interesting — I like how the “bloodied hands” might be literal (in which case, yeah, their god might not be so forgiving) or figurative, in which case he might be talking about anything. And yet, don’t we all at one time feel guilt about deeds done or undone and wonder if we deserve forgiveness?

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

      Reply
  21. pennygadd51

    You ramp up the tension well. Katie’s first line could apply to thwarted aspirations, or general misery. Then you introduce ‘bloodied hands’, which could be literal or metaphorical, but definitely nudges the reader in the direction of serious transgression. Your last line of course introduces the thought that Piers suspects that what they’ve done may be unforgivable; and that really makes the imagination work overtime. Murder? Mass murder? Murder of a close family member for their money?
    BTW I think maybe you mean wash their bloodied hands clean, rather than wash their bloodied hands away, which conjures up a rather grisly vision of severed limbs…

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading. Hmm, I think you’re technically right but it doesn’t scan as well – and I’m always wanting to hit that 100 word limit on the nose so occasionally things do slip. Thank you for the feedback!

      Reply
  22. lingeringvisions by Dawn

    You have your audience clamoring for more!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 Now if only I’d meant that.

      Reply
  23. Fatima Fakier

    Loved the imagery here. Bloodied hands, and fingering the cross. Such is human nature to justify wrong doings – you captured this well. But Piers seems to at least realise the evil of their deed.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Fatima

      Reply
  24. Dale

    Loved listening to you read your story (lovely voice) and that you left us questioning the “what” they have done to “whom”… Beautiful descriptions.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you very much!

      Reply
  25. Sarah Ann

    🙂 Loved this, great characters and I’m left wondering what bloodied their hands. What have this pair been up to!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks! Pleased you liked it.

      Reply
  26. Miles Rost

    Why do I get the feeling that a vampire is involved here? Well done!

    Reply

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