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The Window

“Tomorrow,” he said aloud, not realising his inner monologue had sprung a leak.

Tomorrow. I’ll speak to her tomorrow.

It was always “tomorrow”. In fact, tomorrow would mark 99 yesterdays; each one a little fonder yet a little sadder than the last.

Tom took a deep breath, checked his watch, and strolled past the department store window.

He glanced as they became one for the briefest of moments. His reflection merging with her tall, perfectly dressed, slender frame – the same as it did yesterday and the day before.

She may not have noticed him this time but there was always tomorrow.

 

Here’s a little 100-worder for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. Please feel free to comment, critique, like or subscribe for more!

Want to hear me read this to you?

Oh, and don’t forget to check out the other stories based on this picture.

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50 responses to “The Window”

  1. neilmacdon

    What a clever idea. I loved it

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Neil!

      Reply
      1. J Hardy Carroll

        Ballad of the stalker!

  2. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

    I think this is such a common occurrence when men want to ask someone out. We are a fearsome species. Loved hearing you read it. You did it perfectly — both the writing and the reading.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for taking the time to read, listen and comment Irene. Much appreciated.

      Reply
      1. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

        We are both doing the same thing at the same time. I love the diversity that one photo can create in stories.

  3. Varad

    Hope Tom isn’t besotted with a mannequin 😉

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Who knows 😉
      (Hollllllyyywoooooodddd!)

      Reply
      1. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

        This was my thought as well 🙂

  4. Moon

    Oh wow! I admire his patience and deep admiration.🙂
    So very well written .

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you so much.

      Reply
  5. Keith’s Ramblings

    I too thought he’d got the hots for a dummy! Nice one MrB.

    Click to read my FriFic!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      There are many strange people in this world, so who knows….

      Reply
  6. rochellewisoff

    Dear Peter,

    I get the impression he’s carrying the torch or a mannequin. Not much hope for that relationship I fear. Love the writing and the voice you add to it by reading it to us.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I may need to work on my ambiguity 😉

      Thanks for reading, listening and commenting. Much appreciated.

      Reply
  7. Iain Kelly

    Mannequin or real woman, I get the feeling he will keep saying ‘tomorrow’ until it is probably too late… Nicely done.

    Reply
  8. Miles Rost

    I couldn’t help but think of this song when I read it.

    Well done.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Ha, that’s a new one to me.

      Reply
  9. Sandra

    I loved the ‘inner dialogue springing a leak’ line. Good one!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks

      Reply
  10. granonine

    Is it a mannequin, or the woman who decorates the windows? Golly, I hope it’s the real one 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      You choose 😉

      Reply
  11. yarnspinnerr

    He waits for her by the store window each day to see their shadows merge briefly ……
    A very different take.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  12. Claire Fuller

    I think he might be in love with a shop dummy? I love this, and I really liked hearing what you sound like!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Well that’s entirely up to you, Claire! 🙂

      Thanks for reading and listening.

      Reply
  13. James

    “…not realising his inner monologue had sprung a leak.” Wonderful line. I fear though that his feelings for the young lady are going to continue to reside firmly within the realm of fantasy.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for the kind comment.

      Reply
  14. pennygadd51

    You’ve written a shrewd and gentle piece, and you describe well that half-yearning that some young men experience.
    Funnily enough, I know a couple who met in a retail situation. Regularly, once a week, the young woman visited the bank, and was served by the same young male counter clerk. It wasn’t until years later, when he was no longer a clerk there, and she no longer banked with them, that they met again, and discovered they’d each found the other attractive. Every week they’d hoped the other would say something – just as in your story. Their story has a happy ending – perhaps yours does too!

    Reply
  15. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I actually know of a case where the girl finally mustered up her courage to speak up.

    Reply
  16. JS Brand

    I liked this story a lot, not least because it encouraged readers to think about what was going on. I thought Tom might be fixated with a mannequin, then wondered whether he was considering cross-dressing and looking in the window to blend with the figure inside to see how he might look, before plucking up the courage to go inside and buy.
    Whatever his reasoning was, this is a link to a story about a British woman who apparently fell in love with a stranger on a train and eventually plucked up the nerve to ask him out. The comments are divided between those who found the story romantic and others who found it a bit creepy.

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/meet-cute-creepy-morning-viewers-11199740

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks very much

      Reply
      1. JS Brand

        You’re welcome.

  17. Alicia Jamtaas

    Mr. Binks, what a treat to read your well-wrought tale and hear you read it! I also fear he’s in love with a mannequin. Alicia

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      That’s really kind, I’ve never been described as a treat before. May put this comment on my wall.

      Reply
  18. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    Lovely written romantic tale. I’m with Alicia though, I had thoughts he was in love with a mannequin. Great take on the prompt.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you kindly.

      Reply
  19. Mike

    A “mannequin” ? . . . In love with a “mannequin”?

    Wonder how his is going to have kids with this relationship?

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂

      Reply
  20. Nan Falkner

    I hope he goes for the window dresser and you have a nice voice.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks very much for reading and listening.

      Reply
  21. Inside the Mind of Isadora

    Awww … such longing. I do hope it’s a beautiful saleswoman and not a mannequin.
    He needs a little confidence. I hope she comes out one day and talks to him. Nice sweet story …
    I enjoyed hearing it being read.
    Isadora 😎

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for taking the time to read, comment and listen!

      Reply
  22. Susan A Eames

    Great story. Who hasn’t been there in one form or another?

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Susan.

      Reply
  23. Dale

    I loved this (and hearing your reading, as always) and couldn’t help but think of Robin Williams’ role in “The Fisher King” where he watches Amanda Plummer’s character stumble her way to and from work, never courageous enough to introduce himself… well until Jeff Bridges’ character gets involved, that is.

    Reply
  24. Christine Goodnough

    I loved your first line. Good tale of frustrated passion.
    But if he never talks to her he never has to find out she has halitosis or poor verbal skills. Nothing quenches a dream gal/ guy like reality.😐

    Reply
  25. Dahlia

    Wonderfully conceived and penned.

    Reply
  26. athling2001

    Well done! I had just one question – who is the ‘they’ in “He glanced as they became one for the briefest of moments.”? A sales girl or manikin? Just a bit confused by the pronoun.

    Reply
  27. lingeringvisions by Dawn

    Gotta love a guy with hope. 🙂

    Reply

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