Me. You. Coffee.

A 100 word story by

MrBinks

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What Lies, Beneath

Super quick note: If you’ve enjoyed my story, or any of my stories on Friday Fictioneers, I’d love it if you checked out my new eBook!
My debut collection of short stories, People Watching, is now available to buy on Amazon for less than the price of a Big Mac.

People Watching contains fifty two, one hundred word stories covering a wealth of subjects including love, friendship, death, sex, plums, religion and chicken kiev all prompted by 52 fantastic photographs taken by friends and myself. (Sound familiar?)

Thanks for reading – and if you haven’t tried your hand at Friday Fictioneering, then give it ago. This link will tell you how (and this link will take you to my book).

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What Lies, Beneath

Fred hadn’t been seen since last Wednesday. He’d gone shopping at the local supermarket (he was short on toffees, Fixodent and cat food) and everyone had assumed he’d had one of “his turns”.

The truth was much richer. On wandering towards the nearby lake, Fred had been convinced he’d seen a car drive by underneath. Leaving his trolley at the shore (he was 91, he’d earned the right to take his trolley with him) he walked straight into the lake.

What lay beneath was a glorious city never before seen by foot-using man.

Probably.

Fred’s dead now.

He drowned, obviously.

 

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Responses to “What Lies, Beneath”

  1. rochellewisoff

    Dear Mr. Binks,

    Poor Fred. Congrats on your ebook.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks, Rochelle.

      Reply
  2. David Stewart

    That’s quite the twist ending, although I guess it’s to be expected. It leaves the reader wondering what’s real, in other words, what he actually saw, if anything. It reminds me a bit of the H.P. Lovecraft story “Celephaïs”, where a man goes to another realm and is crowned king, but we find out at the end he’s a homeless man who drowned. Interesting take on the picture.
    -David

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I’ll check it out, thanks.

      Reply
  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I can see this happening.. But I’m a little bit sad.. and yes why not find your yellow-brick road underneath.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 Don’t be sad… *hugs*

      Reply
  4. Jessie Ansons

    Ha! Obviously…

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      ; )

      Reply
  5. karin

    How have you made me laugh at such a tragic story? Very clever!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Because you’re easily amused, or I’m a genius? (I think I know the answer to that.)

      Reply
  6. wmqcolby

    Hilarious! Good, dry humor. If he had been eating all those toffees, he really WAS short on Fixodent!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for the kind comment. Glad you enjoyed it!

      Reply
  7. silentlyheardonce

    New meaning to he drifted away. Good story.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading (and commenting). (and reading this reply to your comment.)

      Reply
  8. patriciaruthsusan

    Mr. Binks, Dark humor but humorous nevertheless. 🙂 Poor old Fred. Well he won’t need Fixodent in this new life. It looks like he truly went to a better place in a way. 🙂

    Susan

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for the nice comment, Susan.

      Reply
  9. aliciajamtaas

    Fixodent and toffees! What a hoot. Well done. And at 91 this lovely man deserved to find a gorgeous place.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I quite liked his shopping list 😀 Thanks – glad you enjoyed it.

      Reply
  10. sustainabilitea

    Maybe he found Atlantis. 🙂

    janet

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      If that lake is anything like the ones around here, he probably just found another shopping trolley at the bottom of the lake.

      Reply
  11. Sandra

    Lovely terse style! 🙂 Well done!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Sandra 🙂

      Reply
  12. helenmidgley

    hee hee, another belter 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Praise indeed. Thanks, Helen. Go on… try the book, you know you want to 😉

      Reply
  13. lingeringvisions by Dawn

    Shoot, I was so hopeful for a moment.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      As it happens, I’d love to have opened the world under the lake, but you know… 100 words. 😀

      Reply
  14. storydivamg

    Congratulations on the eBook.

    Sounds as though Fred should have heeded the warning from T.S. Eliot’s “Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock”: “‘Til human voices wake us and we drown.”

    Cheers!
    MG

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks MG. I’m very proud of it, and I do hope some of the Friday Fictioneering people will click a link and take a peek – I’d love to hear their opinions.

      Thanks for commenting – I’ll check out Lovesong.

      Reply
  15. Karen Whitelaw

    Hi Mr Binks. For just a moment I was excited by this new world he’d found. Then, unfortunately, reality flooded in…

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Alas, it always bloody does.

      Reply
  16. Perry Block (@PerryBlock)

    Cute twist, though I don’t know what you mean by trolley. Is it a trolley like in the U.S. or a Britishism?

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading. When is a trolley not a trolley?

      Reply
      1. Archon’s Den

        Cute story, well done. I was going to ask if MrBinks was British, but, as they say on Coronation St. – or Lewis – or even Poirot, it’s bloody obvious. 😉

  17. Jan Brown

    Poor Fred. But perhaps he left this world happy…amazed by his “discovery” of a wondrous place, and blissfully unaware that he was headed for the end. Not a bad way to go.

    Reply
  18. Nan Falkner

    Dear Mister Binks, What a cute tale – love it! Love it! Thanks, Nan 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 Thanks, Nan! I do hope you’ll check out the tales in my eBook. They’re just as silly.

      Reply
  19. talesfromthemotherland

    Poor, poor Fred. Mazel on the new book!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks very much! I hope you’ll give it a try.

      Reply
  20. misskzebra

    I think it was a happy ending, ending being the operative word.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 thanks for reading.

      Reply
  21. Victoria K Gallagher

    Great bit of humour there Mr.Binks!! Gave me a good laugh!! (thanks for liking my story despite its dooming quality!) Congrats too on getting your book published, that’s amazing! Just out of curiosity, are you an Oasis fan?? (I ask because of your sites tagline)…

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for commenting. And thank you for the thanks on the book launch, it’s essentially more 100 word nonsense – I’ve enjoyed putting it together.

      Yup, I am. I tend to change the tagline every now and then 🙂

      Reply
      1. Victoria K Gallagher

        Well, enjoying your writing is the #1 priority; any plans for the future with more publishing for you?? (I thought I got it right about Oasis!)

  22. AnnIsikArts

    ‘What lies beneath’ could also be ‘What lies beyond’. Your clever story is balanced between two worlds, both of which are real according to the perception of the character and the reader. I will steal this ‘edgy’ technique for my own use, especially as I’m doing an art project at present entitled ‘Below the Line’. With my editing hat on, I’d suggest changing “… he was short on toffees, … ” to “… “he’d been …” for consistency of verb tense. 🙂 I love the list of items your 91 year old went out to buy, which, again cleverly, is a characterisation aid. I wish I’d written this! Ann

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Good call on the tense – I am still learning 😉

      That last line is one of the kindest things I’ve ever read. Thank you very much. If you liked this, then please (PLEASE) give my book a try. http://www.amazon.co.uk/People-Watching-Peter-Abbey-ebook/dp/B00K1I4UZ2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399016381&sr=8-1&keywords=people+watching+peter+abbey

      Reply
      1. AnnIsikArts

        I’ve downloaded a sample of your book onto my iPad to read and in all probability, I’ll buy the tale. 🙂

      2. MrBinks

        Lovely, thanks 🙂

      3. AnnIsikArts

        Oh, and if you need any proofreading/editing done, think of me. In the interests of expanding my editing portfolio, I sometimes do a few pages pro bono. 🙂

      4. MrBinks

        I shall keep you in mind, thanks for letting me know.

  23. patrickprinsloo

    Fun/sad tale.Great stuff. Toffees and Fixadent? He lived dangerously.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading. Glad you picked up on that 🙂

      Reply
  24. elappleby

    Mr Binks, you are the master of the insane last line. I still remember your ghost story that ended ‘ghosts don’t exist’. Very funny stuff 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Why thank you.

      (Buy my book).

      😉

      Reply
  25. writeamy

    I love his shopping list. It says so much in so few words. (I’ll have to steal that idea sometime) I enjoyed your story.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Hey, no thievery! ;D Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  26. draliman

    Oh no, poor Fred 😦 Maybe someone should have been looking out for him.

    Reply
  27. Lucy

    So long, Fred. I’m worried about his cat. Has anyone fed it? Loved it. Lucy

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Coming soon: The Adventures of Dead Fred’s Cat.

      Reply
  28. R. E. Hunter

    Oh, well, it’s a good way to go, I guess, full of wonder at a new discovery.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Full of wonder at a new discovery. The discovery that one’s lungs can’t hold oxygen when filled with water? ;D

      Reply
  29. sandraconner

    Your title is perfect. The story leaves the reader still asking, “What DOES lie beneath?” Nice take on this prompt. Hardly anyone writes pure fantasy anymore, and this fills that void.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I think the answer is: Fred’s shoes.

      Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  30. siobhanmcnamara

    Great story, whatever Fred saw or thought he saw was real in his eyes. I hope it was as nice as he expected 🙂

    Reply

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