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Docked her

Andrew was a dental practitioner. Whilst it said “Dentist” on his office door, the word “Performer” was emblazoned across his heart.

Every last Thursday of the month he’d down tools, grab his suitcase and rush to the moored ferry. A long weekend, the sea, stage lights and rapturous applause would await him.

Whilst he loved to sing to a captive audience with all the glitz and glamour, sparkles and general razzle-dazzle of his routine, he’d still have preferred a stage on dry land. He always found it tricky to shave his legs and apply makeup when the waters were choppy.

 

 

This piece was submitted as part of Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. 1 photograph. 100 words. Over 120 people taking part.

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77 responses to “Docked her”

  1. Gunn’s Cabin Fever

    Brilliant! Enjoyed this very much. I felt for him and really, you created quite a character there..

    Reply
  2. rochellewisoff

    Dear Peter,

    I’ve learned to put my coffee down while reading your stories. I definitely would’ve spewed at your last line.

    Should it be “he’d PUT down his tools?” without put it sounds like he swallowed them.

    Aside from that…highly entertaining.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. rochellewisoff

      PS. The title just hit me. Good job on that, too.

      Reply
      1. MrBinks

        😉

    2. MrBinks

      Ha, fine praise indeed.
      As for “downed tools” it’s certainly a phrase here in the UK. Perhaps it doesn’t travel? Besides, my way works for nailing the 100 words limit!

      Reply
      1. rochellewisoff

        I wondered if that wasn’t the case but it never hurts to ask. So it turns out that I’m the one who learned something. 😉

  3. Sandra

    Clever title; clever characterisation.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks. I felt good about it this week – this one felt more in keeping with the other stories from my book, People Watching 🙂

      Reply
  4. Ese’ s Voice

    Perfect! 😀 Still laughing…

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Too kind!

      Reply
  5. appropriateadult

    Shame on you, stealing my character. They’re MY legs! 😉

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Hello, Dawn.

      Reply
  6. Horus

    Docked me too ! 😀

    – what a characterization !

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Cheers!

      Reply
  7. Jessie Ansons

    Once again really funny Mr Binks! I just got the ‘doctor’ bit too. Brilliant. ‘Downing tools’ works here in Australia 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Why thank you, m’lady.

      Reply
  8. Jessie Ansons

    For those interested, my FF piece was written as #replyfiction to this one. Here’s the link:

    http://jessieansons.com/2014/06/11/the-black-sheep-of-the-family-friday-fictioneers/

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      ^^^^^^^^^^
      ^^^^^^^^^^
      I approve this silliness.

      Reply
  9. Snow’s Fissures and Fractures

    Andrew is living to the fullest, good for him. Maybe he shouldn’t leave shaving his legs for the last minute, there are so many better methods. Good story.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I quite agree, what a fool!

      Reply
  10. patriciaruthsusan

    Mr. Binks, Hilarious. I also laughed out loud. 😀 Does Andrew ever fill teeth during his act? I’d like to see that. In fact, teeth or no teeth, I’d like to see that act. Well done. 🙂 ___Susan

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for the kind comment. It is my pleasure to make you laugh – though I’m thinking now of, perhaps, a minutely rate.

      Reply
  11. Life in the 50’s and beyond…

    I would suggest a wax! Lasts longer… Love the use of “whilst”…We don’t hear that in the states much.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  12. Hannah

    Amusing as always—I love that you spool out details and still manage to surprise in your final sentence.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Super comment. Might frame this one. Thanks, Hannah 😀

      Reply
      1. Hannah

        If you frame said comment, send a photo so I can frame the photo of my framed comment.

        …what?

      2. MrBinks

        If I do, and you do, you know that I’d want you to send a…

        *puts the kettle on*

        … and then we’d have a 100 photos of photos \o/

      3. Hannah

        Well, as long as there’s tea!

  13. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Ah.. maybe he should start to shave his legs at the practice.. his customer might appreciate his new looks.

    Reply
  14. hugmamma

    A singing dentist. Something I could get use to…

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      See, now I’m reminded of this…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHsDKqKE_kc

      Reply
  15. aliciajamtaas

    I agree with Rochelle only I was eating a sandwich that almost landed on the key pad. Wonderful twist at the end. Kudos.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Goodness, people around here really need to control their eating and drinking habits ;D

      Reply
  16. helenmidgley

    Another laugh out loud one, brill 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      *tips hat* thank you ma’am.

      Reply
  17. siobhanmcnamara

    What a contrast – I will try and call up these images next time I am at the dentist 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 Sounds like a plan!

      Reply
  18. high five and raspberries

    The title is brilliant, the filling superbe, the ending delightful. I will try to wipe the mouthfull of tea that I spewed across my screen…:)

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      That seems to be a bit of a theme today! 😀

      Reply
  19. jamsun

    This is very interesting! The only thing that I stumbled on is “downed tools,” but then I read the comments and realized it’s an UK phrase, so then it was fine for me. I really like the juxtaposition of the dentistry and performer, and the title is hilarious!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      It sounds like you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading, and even more for taking the time to comment. I do hope you’ll come back soon.

      Reply
  20. lingeringvisions by Dawn

    Oh that was good. Wish I’d thought of it! lol

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      haha, lovely comment. Thank you.

      Reply
  21. Perry Block (@PerryBlock)

    Funny story, but I hope that’s not what my dentist does, trilling when he’s not drilling.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  22. tedstrutz

    Clever. Jessie sent me.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks – though that sounded like a threat! 😀

      Reply
      1. Jessie Ansons

        Haha Binks was causing trouble so I sent the muscle to sort it out.

  23. Rajlakshmi

    the ending is brilliant, Loved the story

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks – very kind of you.

      Reply
  24. patrickprinsloo

    That’s very funny. Not too many scars, I hope.
    (A lot of us may well have Performer emblazed on our hearts.)

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you 🙂

      Reply
  25. Nan Falkner

    Dear Mr. Binks, I love your story and your country has the neatest mysteries and dramas via PBS for us to watch. I too, was confused about the “downed tools” comment. Your title is so clever! Good job! Nan 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Hi Nan,
      Thanks for the kind comment. I can’t take credit for the British dramas, but the title was all me 😉

      Reply
  26. Lisa Yow-Williams

    I did not see that coming. Funny and well done!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you Lisa.

      Reply
  27. subroto

    Ha ha! Brilliant! Maybe a Brazilian friend could have helped during these waxing times.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I believe all the Brazilians are busy this week 🙂

      Reply
  28. artfullyadelie

    Razzle-dazzle really did it for me! This was an absolute delight to read! 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I hope you read Razzle-dazzle with a slight Chicago accent.

      Reply
      1. artfullyadelie

        Sorry to disappoint, but it’s a lower-Michigan accent. I’ll reread it over with the Chicago one though! 🙂

  29. elappleby

    A clever title and a funny finish. Excellent take on the prompt, Mr Binks 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you, sir.

      Reply
  30. ContactRida

    more like he “tucked his tool”:) haha. great take, very creative!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      :-O how rude! 😉

      Reply
  31. draliman

    I bet he really looks forward to his monthly drag act. Very funny!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for the kind comment.

      Reply
  32. Shailaja/ The Moving Quill

    Love the fact that you made the boat the focus of the story, rather than the dentist’s tools. Beautiful take! And that title! Oh, that title 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      It sounds like you liked it!

      Reply
  33. Lucy

    The last line made me laugh. I bet it’s difficult to shave those legs and apply makeup when the water’s choppy. Great take on the prompt. Well done. Lucy

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you for the lovely comment, Lucy.

      Reply
  34. Kalpana Solsi

    There is more action on the boat than in the clinic.This made me smile and then laugh. Shaving on choppy water is tricky , then why now shift to waxing.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I’m glad it made you smile. Thanks for the comment.

      Reply
  35. Liz Young

    Good for Andrew – I know one or two Trannie performers and they’re great!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      ha ha! Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  36. 10. Lord of the Flies – William Golding (100 book challenge) | Jessie Ansons

    […] week following Mr Binks’ reply, he posted this 100 word piece about an ordinary dentist with a ‘razzle-dazzle’ secret on the weekends. So I did a […]

    Reply

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