– You really should start work, it’s twelve minutes past nine.
“I’m very well aware of the time, thank you very much. It’s just that, well, I was going to finish my coffee before I start really working.”
– You won’t though, will you? The dregs of your coffee are already stone-cold. You’ve had it since eight thirty. When you finish it, or realise you don’t want to finish it because it’s too cold and ‘bitty’, you’ll just end up getting out of your seat and making tea.
“Why do you keep writing the time like that?”
– Hush. Are you going to start work now or not? It’s thirteen past nine, now.
– I’m weird? You should check yourself before you wreck…
“Don’t say that. You sound like a complete penis when you say that. Besides, I’m just about to start work. Right………. nnnn…….”
– For crying out loud. At least open Word, or Excel, or perhaps the website you’re supposed to be working on. At least look busy.”
“I am busy. I’m planning.”
– Planning what? It certainly isn’t your day.
“Stuff. I’m planning stuff.”
– You’re planning on going to the toilet aren’t you? You’re planning on wasting another five minutes by walking downstairs and draining the so-called lizard. Pfftt. More like pinching the worm.
“But I am now.”
– I despair.
“I hate you.”
– I know.