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Promises

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.

That much was true?

What?

Nothing. Sorry. Please continue.

It was late into my shift on a Thursday night when he walked in, all shiny shoes, slick backed hair and pearly whites. He gave me his card and held my hand. He said he’d show me the world, make me famous with riches beyond my wildest dreams.

And you believed him?

Oh, he had very shiny shoes.

And this was…?

…30 years ago today.

But you’re still working as a waitress in a cocktail bar?

Yes, that much is true.

Hooray for Hollllllyyywooooddd… ahem. Well, actually, hooray for Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers. Get yourself there and join in with the weekly 100 word challenge!

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29 responses to “Promises”

  1. rochellewisoff

    Dear Peter,

    I enjoyed your story. That much is true. 😉 Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Rochelle.

      Reply
  2. Sandra

    Clever presentation of a betrayal that goes on and on and on… I liked it. 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Come now, don’t accuse me of being clever.

      Reply
  3. dmmacilroy

    Dear Mr. Binks,

    First Place (so far) for best noire story. I bet it holds. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Doug, very kind.

      Reply
  4. wmqcolby

    Like the old Red Skelton poem,
    “Algae saw a bear
    The bear saw Algae
    The bear was bulgy
    The bulge was Algae.”

    Life’s like that, I’d say. Great job, Mister B.!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 Thank you.

      Reply
  5. sustainabilitea

    If it sounds too good to be real… A story that has been told through the ages, whether in Hollyweird or elsewhere.

    janet

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  6. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Ah.. nothing’s better to use an old song we are bound to know he.. “either with or without you”

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂

      Reply
  7. Vows (Friday Fictioneers) | Jessie Ansons

    […] me to a #replyfiction this week so here it is. To read Binks’ story called Promises, click here. Over to you next week […]

    Reply
  8. Jessie Ansons

    Loved it Mr Binks!!! So much I had to do a #replyfiction … here it is: http://jessieansons.com/2014/11/13/vows-friday-fictioneers/

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Jessie! I enjoyed your reply 🙂

      Reply
  9. Jessie Ansons

    PS I’ve been singing that song all morning now!

    Reply
  10. aliciajamtaas

    Oh, he had very shiny shoes. This is such a random reason to believe someone! Love it!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Glad you liked that – it was my favourite bit.

      Reply
  11. Leona H – Shadow Strokes

    And,one of my favorite songs to boot! Very nice.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for the lovely comment.

      Reply
  12. Lisa Yow-Williams

    Your story could be a fast forward thirty years to my story this week. Very well done! I’ll be singing that song the rest of the day.

    Reply
  13. storydivamg

    Peter,
    So true . . . I love the way you weave your story this week between the familiar song lyrics. Nicely handled.

    Marie Gail

    Reply
  14. patrickprinsloo

    Bravo. Now that song’s stuck inside my head. Time for a drink.

    Reply
  15. Margaret

    Thirty years and only one pair of shiny shoes ever came her way. Poor girl. Great story.

    Reply
  16. lingeringvisions by Dawn

    Damn them shoes!

    Reply
  17. Liz Mary Young

    That was a sad little tale! I like the fialogue.

    Reply
  18. talesfromthemotherland

    Even then I knew I’d find a much better place… but not for stories, Binksy. 😉

    Reply
  19. Andrew Geary

    “Oh, he had very shiny shoes.”

    I enjoyed this; funny little tale.

    Reply
  20. 10. Lord of the Flies – William Golding (100 book challenge) | Jessie Ansons

    […] in November 2014, Mr Binks wrote about a hard done by cocktail waitress, cheated by her man. So I told the #replyfiction of the man, […]

    Reply

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