I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.
That much was true?
What?
Nothing. Sorry. Please continue.
It was late into my shift on a Thursday night when he walked in, all shiny shoes, slick backed hair and pearly whites. He gave me his card and held my hand. He said he’d show me the world, make me famous with riches beyond my wildest dreams.
And you believed him?
Oh, he had very shiny shoes.
And this was…?
…30 years ago today.
But you’re still working as a waitress in a cocktail bar?
Yes, that much is true.
Hooray for Hollllllyyywooooddd… ahem. Well, actually, hooray for Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers. Get yourself there and join in with the weekly 100 word challenge!
me.you.coffee 
29 responses to “Promises”
Dear Peter,
I enjoyed your story. That much is true. 😉 Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle.
Clever presentation of a betrayal that goes on and on and on… I liked it. 🙂
Come now, don’t accuse me of being clever.
Dear Mr. Binks,
First Place (so far) for best noire story. I bet it holds. Very well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug, very kind.
Like the old Red Skelton poem,
“Algae saw a bear
The bear saw Algae
The bear was bulgy
The bulge was Algae.”
Life’s like that, I’d say. Great job, Mister B.!
🙂 Thank you.
If it sounds too good to be real… A story that has been told through the ages, whether in Hollyweird or elsewhere.
janet
Thanks for reading.
Ah.. nothing’s better to use an old song we are bound to know he.. “either with or without you”
🙂
[…] me to a #replyfiction this week so here it is. To read Binks’ story called Promises, click here. Over to you next week […]
Loved it Mr Binks!!! So much I had to do a #replyfiction … here it is: http://jessieansons.com/2014/11/13/vows-friday-fictioneers/
Thanks Jessie! I enjoyed your reply 🙂
PS I’ve been singing that song all morning now!
Oh, he had very shiny shoes. This is such a random reason to believe someone! Love it!
Glad you liked that – it was my favourite bit.
And,one of my favorite songs to boot! Very nice.
Thanks for the lovely comment.
Your story could be a fast forward thirty years to my story this week. Very well done! I’ll be singing that song the rest of the day.
Peter,
So true . . . I love the way you weave your story this week between the familiar song lyrics. Nicely handled.
Marie Gail
Bravo. Now that song’s stuck inside my head. Time for a drink.
Thirty years and only one pair of shiny shoes ever came her way. Poor girl. Great story.
Damn them shoes!
That was a sad little tale! I like the fialogue.
Even then I knew I’d find a much better place… but not for stories, Binksy. 😉
“Oh, he had very shiny shoes.”
I enjoyed this; funny little tale.
[…] in November 2014, Mr Binks wrote about a hard done by cocktail waitress, cheated by her man. So I told the #replyfiction of the man, […]