Promises

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.

That much was true?

What?

Nothing. Sorry. Please continue.

It was late into my shift on a Thursday night when he walked in, all shiny shoes, slick backed hair and pearly whites. He gave me his card and held my hand. He said he’d show me the world, make me famous with riches beyond my wildest dreams.

And you believed him?

Oh, he had very shiny shoes.

And this was…?

…30 years ago today.

But you’re still working as a waitress in a cocktail bar?

Yes, that much is true.


Hooray for Hollllllyyywooooddd… ahem. Well, actually, hooray for Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers. Get yourself there and join in with the weekly 100 word challenge!

hollywood-crowd

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29 thoughts on “Promises

  1. Dear Peter,

    I enjoyed your story. That much is true. 😉 Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. Sandra says:

    Clever presentation of a betrayal that goes on and on and on… I liked it. 🙂

  3. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Mr. Binks,

    First Place (so far) for best noire story. I bet it holds. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  4. wmqcolby says:

    Like the old Red Skelton poem,
    “Algae saw a bear
    The bear saw Algae
    The bear was bulgy
    The bulge was Algae.”

    Life’s like that, I’d say. Great job, Mister B.!

  5. If it sounds too good to be real… A story that has been told through the ages, whether in Hollyweird or elsewhere.

    janet

  6. Ah.. nothing’s better to use an old song we are bound to know he.. “either with or without you”

  7. […] me to a #replyfiction this week so here it is. To read Binks’ story called Promises, click here. Over to you next week […]

  8. Loved it Mr Binks!!! So much I had to do a #replyfiction … here it is: http://jessieansons.com/2014/11/13/vows-friday-fictioneers/

  9. PS I’ve been singing that song all morning now!

  10. Oh, he had very shiny shoes. This is such a random reason to believe someone! Love it!

  11. And,one of my favorite songs to boot! Very nice.

  12. Your story could be a fast forward thirty years to my story this week. Very well done! I’ll be singing that song the rest of the day.

  13. storydivamg says:

    Peter,
    So true . . . I love the way you weave your story this week between the familiar song lyrics. Nicely handled.

    Marie Gail

  14. Bravo. Now that song’s stuck inside my head. Time for a drink.

  15. Margaret says:

    Thirty years and only one pair of shiny shoes ever came her way. Poor girl. Great story.

  16. That was a sad little tale! I like the fialogue.

  17. Even then I knew I’d find a much better place… but not for stories, Binksy. 😉

  18. Andrew Geary says:

    “Oh, he had very shiny shoes.”

    I enjoyed this; funny little tale.

  19. […] in November 2014, Mr Binks wrote about a hard done by cocktail waitress, cheated by her man. So I told the #replyfiction of the man, […]

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