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Swipe Left

“Do bears shit in the woods?”

The words hung in the air like a bad smell.

“Sorry, what?” asked Samantha, reaching down to rub the sores forming above her heels.

“Do bears,” Robbie cleared his throat for dramatic effect, “shit in the woods?”

He spread his arms to reveal a single porcelain toilet situated, quite literally, in the middle of their 5 mile hike into woodlands.

Samantha rolled her steely blue eyes, removed her Gucci heels and placed her bottom upon the wickedly cold, white throne.

She’d had many bad first dates in her time, but this one really was crap.

 

Here’s a little 100-worder for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. Please feel free to comment, critique, like or subscribe for more! Click here for more stories from adventurous writers.

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39 responses to “Swipe Left”

  1. neilmacdon

    That gave me a morning laugh. Thanks

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Excellent 🙂

      Reply
  2. Martin Cororan

    Wah wah wahhhh!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      😉

      Reply
  3. Susan A Eames

    Ha ha – great story and loved the pun at the end!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Glad you enjoyed it.

      Reply
  4. rochellewisoff

    Dear Peter.

    Good story. Full of pun. 😀 Although, I can’t imagine sitting in front my date in the middle of the woods to take a dump on an arbitrary toidy.

    Shalom

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading Rochelle.

      Reply
  5. pennygadd51

    Five miles in Gucci heels? What on earth was Robbie thinking of? Nice story, Peter!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I don’t think he’ll be seeing her again.

      Reply
  6. Moon

    Great story, Mr. Binks.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks!

      Reply
  7. granonine

    Start the day laughing 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Excellent! 🙂

      Reply
  8. James

    The toilet figures so prominently in the photo it’s hard not to base a story on it. I almost did but then saw the toilet and tub were not (apparently) hooked up to plumbing and the windows in the background were clearly stored there, so I treated the environment like a general storage area and moved on from there (albeit in my typical very weird direction).

    Reply
  9. Snow’s Fissures and Fractures

    Well, never been on that kind of a date. Tnx for laughs!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank your lucky stars!

      Reply
  10. Dale

    Methinks we’ll have a lot of stinkers this week that make us laugh, as does this one, Peter.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      ha, quite possibly. I don’t tend to take the photo so literally but hey! 🙂

      Reply
      1. Dale

        Same here… 😉

  11. Sandra

    Brilliant! So beautifully written, as well.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Aww, this is such a lovely comment. Thank you Sandra!

      Reply
  12. Lynn Love

    Ha! Pretty sure there won’t be a second date! Gucci shoes versus his sense of humour? I’ll spend the afternoon with him thanks 🙂

    Reply
  13. Iain Kelly

    Great title, modern dating at it’s finest. I can see why she’s moving on from pretty quickly 🙂

    Reply
  14. Sightsnbytes

    That would be my wife’s reaction.

    Reply
  15. ceayr

    Fun story

    Reply
  16. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    That was a good laugh. At the mention of bears I expected a different ending. I like yours better.

    Reply
  17. Susie Clevenger (@wingsobutterfly)

    Well, at least he was the potty prince of the moment. 🙂

    Reply
  18. anuragbakhshi

    Ha ha ha. Something tells me there won’t be a second date for them.

    Reply
  19. Elizabeth Young

    Wonderfully funny!

    Reply
  20. Christine Goodnough

    Not a match made in heaven. But a tale spun out of a creative mind, for sure.

    Reply
  21. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

    Loved it.

    Reply
  22. spicedmullings

    Awesome!
    Reminds of an episode in NCIS Season 3!

    Reply
  23. Mike

    This weeks prompt has brought out the best in people. Love your pumch line at the end.

    Reply
  24. ellenbest24

    That truly was a sh** date. good use of the prompt.

    Reply
  25. Alicia Jamtaas

    Ah! Oh so funny. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

    Reply
  26. Dawn M. Miller

    Oh my…lol

    Reply
  27. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Ha… I guess there will no be a second

    Reply
  28. Nan Falkner

    Dear Peter, Jeepers – Well, everyone who has a first date usually goes on a the second . . . Very Clever reply! Merry Christmas!

    Reply

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