The Room

Back to back the pair sat together apart.

They both heard the buzzer.
He thought it was her turn.
She, in turn, thought it was his.

They sat in silence, save for the click-clack of fingers on keys.

A second buzz. Longer this time.
The tapping of text intensified.
Eyes pierced screens.

The temperature rose in the room they’d earmarked as a nursery, but now called an office.

A knock at the door, then at the window.
He stopped, just briefly.
She sighed, deliberately.

Outside of the gate the Stork tutted, shushed the package, ruffled his feathers, and left.



This flash fiction/short story, call it what you will, was written for Friday Fictioneers.

I’m not sure why the last two stories have followed a slight theme. I can assure you I’m not broody!

Thanks to Rochelle as ever for hosting, and Jean L. Hays for this week’s photo prompt. Click here to read this week’s stories from other writers around the world.

36 thoughts on “The Room

    1. Sometimes I think that, but other times I think that people are so damned stressed right now that maybe that will cancel it out!

  1. Dear Peter,

    Do we need to have that chat about the birds and the bees? Seriously I love this story. i wonder if the stork delivered the package elsewhere. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    1. “Irritated”, oofff, not my intention obviously – but you’ve caught me. I cocked up the first line and a subsequent one with 2 “silently”s so had to make a last minute edit. Probably why it feels a bit tacked on.

      Thanks for the comment.

      1. I almost never comment negatively, but your writing is so good, this is an excellent piece, and the ending, as I said, is a belter, so I felt it only fair to tell you I was disappointed with the start.
        If that was your usual standard I would have said nothing, but I think you are better than that.
        Still friends?

      2. *grumble grumble* Spose. *grumble grumble*

        As I say, I think it’s really interesting that you’ve picked up on something that I edited in a rush. You can actually hear the original words in the narration. Shows I shouldn’t rush things I’d say.

      3. Editing is always dangerous, and last minute editing catches us all sometimes.
        Doesn’t make you a bad writer.
        Or a bad person.

  2. What a wonderfully written story – so much told and not said.
    My dog sat up and looked at me wondering why I didn’t answer the door!

  3. Oh, my! This is so well done! I loved everything (including the first line) but I’m glad ceayr commented about it. Sometimes a little critiquing is good for us. I hear Friday Fictioneers actually started out as more of a critique group. I appreciate it when someone takes the time to “edit” one of my pieces. It means they’ve taken time. Anyway, kudos to you on this one.

    1. Thank you for reading, and for the lovely comment. It’s nice comments like this that make me start to wonder what would happen if I took more than 20 minutes to write a short story once a week.

  4. And here I thought it was the cabbage patch! 😉
    Seriously, though, this was very well done! The tension and the unfolding of the story, then the mirrored devastation in the end. Nice!

Don't be shy, leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s