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Steve steps off

Steve stared at the front door. There seemed more steps leading to it than he remembered.

Heโ€™d come a long way.

The miles were many from west coast to east, but the emotional travelling had been the hardest.

Steve leaned against a tree stump and rummaged through his pocket for a packet of cigarettes. He thumbed out the last one and put it to his lips, trembling.

As he sparked his lighter, the porch light awoke.

Mary peered through the crack in the door. Only stillness, but for the dying embers of a cigarette at the foot of the steps.


Hey, listen

Written as a creative wake up for Friday Fictioneers. Photo supplied by Dale Rogerson and hosted as ever by the wonderful Rochelle.

Read more stories (or take part yourself) here!

Responses to “Steve steps off”

  1. Neil MacDonald

    Wonderfully evocative and atmospheric

    1. MrBinks

      Thanks!

  2. James Pyles

    Today’s prompt evokes a lot of sadness.

    1. MrBinks

      It has a bit, hasn’t it.

  3. Dale

    Beautifully atmospheric, Mr. Binks! Love this.

    1. MrBinks

      Thanks so much!

      1. Dale

        ๐Ÿ˜Š

  4. Keith’s Ramblings

    the monochrome picture adds another dimension to your intriguing tale. Nice one.

  5. CGraith

    He was ready to goโ€ฆthereโ€™s great atmosphere in this piece.

  6. Lisa or Li

    MrBinks, I love the texture here. The symbolism of it all is exquisite. I really think that Mary would have left the light off if she wasn’t responding to his presence in a positive way. Fingers crossed for them.

    1. MrBinks

      Wow, lovely comment!

      1. Lisa or Li

        โค

  7. Nancy’s Notes ๐Ÿ–Š๏ธ๐ŸŽถ

    This is quite mysterious, Mr B. The music and voice add another dimension as does your colorless image. I don’t think this bodes well for poor Steve. Nicely done.

    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for listening to the recording – really appreciate that.

  8. Will

    Great story. Provocative. Left me wanting find out what happens next.

    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading.

  9. GHLearner

    Nostalgia is almost always paired with sadness. I wonder what happens next.

  10. justjoyfulness

    A beautifully captured evocative moment.

  11. justjoyfulness

    Lovely narration too. You could be an audiobook reader.

    1. MrBinks

      *blushes* Thanks, that’s a lovely comment.

  12. Nandini Deka

    interesting story…

  13. poetisatinta

    Oh no, he’d gone – too scared to knock? Good write

  14. elmowrites

    Oh dear. I hope he comes back and builds the courage to take those last few steps. I reckon Mary deserves at least to know who he’s become.

  15. Dahlia

    I hope this has a sequel – the curiosity is killing!

  16. James McEwan

    From, you have created a moment of a hanging expectation with subdued tensions.

    1. James McEwan

      For me (instead of from!)

  17. Kelvin M. Knight’s blog

    I like how you have focussed on the steps, rather than the stump, Mr Binks. The story you have started shows great promise. Reminds me a bit of those Alfred Hitchcock movies…

  18. Violet Lentz

    Nicely done.

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