Me. You. Coffee.

A 100 word story by

MrBinks

·

The Plank

“Walk the plank!” Captain Billy ordered, his sword swooshing menacingly above his head. I looked out at the wooden walkway of doom and gulped as seagulls and vultures circled and crowed above. The sea salt filled my nostrils and I began to feel sick.

“b.b.but…” I stammered, one foot tentatively examining the boards.

“But nothing, ya scurvy sea-dog!” he roared, stepping forward and forcing me to put two feet upon the plank.

Captain Billy lowered his sword and jabbed at my ribs. “MOVE!” he barked.
“Oww! Billy, that really hurt” I cried, tears welling up. “Mum! Billy poked me again!”

adamickes-boardwalk

Submitted for Friday Fictioneers photo prompt. See if you can write a piece of flash fiction in 100 words.

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Responses to “The Plank”

  1. rochellewisoff

    Dear Mr. Binks,

    How cute is this! Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 Thanks, Rochelle.

      Reply
  2. sarahbeasmith

    HaHa! Loved it!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Why thank you!

      Reply
  3. Jessie Ansons

    Nice, made me chuckle! I think you’ve brilliantly captured the imagination of young children and how it’s all fun and games until someone gets poked in the ribs.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I’m pleased to have raised a titter!

      Reply
  4. etiennehanratty

    Great twist. Loved it.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading 🙂

      Reply
  5. patriciaruthsusan

    Well done. This is a really cute story with the dialoge of a typical child. I enjoyed it.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks, I’m pleased you enjoyed it.

      Reply
  6. sustainabilitea

    It’s always fun until it isn’t. Very realistic dialogue!

    janet

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      It’s always the way. Still, let’s enjoy it whilst it lasts.

      Reply
  7. David Stewart

    Ain’t that the way of it. Walking the plank is fine, but don’t poke anybody. 🙂 Cute story. I remember this sort of thing from when I was small, playing with my sister.
    -David

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Never, EVER poke someone. Unless you really mean it.
      Thanks for reading, David.

      Reply
  8. Adam Ickes

    I remember those days with my brother. He was the one doing the poking, the jerk.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      ha ha ha, I mean… oh. er, Booo. ; )

      Reply
    2. MrBinks

      P.S. GREAT photo!

      Reply
  9. Sandra

    Sweet!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks 🙂

      Reply
  10. paulmclem

    Cuteness overload 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I hear that a lot…

      Reply
  11. JudahFirst

    I love how you revealed it to be a game right at the end. Great job! My only “criticism” is a simple grammar one … The comma after “Captain Billy” is separating a subject and verb. I bet it was a typo. 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Ooh good spot! Glad it didn’t spoil the story for you.

      Reply
      1. JudahFirst

        Never! Although I can’t seem to turn off my inner editor. Sometimes I wish I could. *sigh* 🙂

  12. K.Z.

    very cute 🙂 the ending made me smile.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Well then, my work here is done.

      Reply
  13. misskzebra

    The games we played as children felt so real! I feel the protagonist’s fear. 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Alas, they all fade away. I think we need to all play pirates a lot more.

      Reply
  14. lingeringvisions by Dawn

    That danged ole Billy is a menacing brother!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I’d say he’s a normal one 😉

      Reply
  15. Karen Whitelaw

    You made me feel as if I was there with him, Mr Binks. Good one.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      What a lovely comment. That’s all we strive for with these things, surely?

      Reply
  16. petrujviljoen

    I enjoyed this.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Cheers.

      Reply
  17. weltchysnotebook

    Very funny story. Nicely written

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you very much.

      Reply
  18. siobhanmcnamara

    Your story stirred up memories of my own childhood
    Well told 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I’m sorry that you were poked with sticks 😉

      Reply
  19. Helena Hann-Basquiat

    You captured that really well, darling. The transition at the end was seamless.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Glad to hear you enjoyed it, my dear.

      Reply
  20. Mousume

    Oh! What a cute story, made me remember my childhood

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Nicely!

      Reply
  21. Liz Young

    Billy’s a Bully and no mistake!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      He’ll get his comeuppance I’m sure!

      Reply
  22. AnnIsikArts

    Nice surprise ending. Dark became light. Adult became child. Ann

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      There needs to be more light!

      Reply
      1. AnnIsikArts

        There’s lots of light. It just needs letting loose more. 🙂

  23. Jim Kane

    Nicely done!
    Regards

    Jim

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks, Jim!

      Reply
  24. bloggedartistry

    I knew it was brotherly love from the first sentence Nice!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I’m glad you kept reading though 😉

      Reply
  25. storydivamg

    I have to admit, I saw it coming, ,but it’s a cute story nonetheless.

    Cheers!
    MG

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      It’s not my main goal to trick people, I promise! ; )

      Reply
  26. atrm61

    Nice (s)word play there Mr Binks-enjoyed this:-)

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Oh no, THAT is good!

      Reply
      1. atrm61

        🙂

  27. carolinehills

    Great imaginative story. Well done.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading. Please do come back again.

      Reply
  28. Sun

    delightful story that takes the memory back to those wonderful role playing days. lovely!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      We need to remember them!

      Reply
  29. nursewes

    I love the use of the unexpected. The use of narration in this short of a story is very sophisticated: acutely aware of the fullness of imagination being framed in a greater reality. Very well done. It would be even stronger if the first sentence did not include the name of the captain. Let that be a part of the reveal, and the narrator will be even more fully wrapped up in his imagination until an untoward reaction to the poking jars him back into the playroom.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Hmm, yeah I can see how that would work. Good call. I tend to knock these out in about 10 minutes on a Wednesday morning to be fair, but closer analysis would probably help identify that kind of thing. I’m glad you still enjoyed it, and thanks for the kind feedback.

      Reply
  30. helenmidgley

    That was gloriously sweet 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks, Helen 🙂

      Reply
  31. Nan Falkner

    Shoot, my husband had 2 younger brothers and they tied the littlest one to a post in the barn and set it on fire – hubby saved brother over the barn – good choice. This is hilarious and fun. Kids! Thanks, Nan

    Reply
  32. MrBinks

    O_O

    Good grief!

    Reply
  33. Riya Anne Polcastro

    Aah to be a kid again! Way to capture the joys (and pains) of childhood!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks, Riya!

      Reply

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