The Plank

“Walk the plank!” Captain Billy ordered, his sword swooshing menacingly above his head. I looked out at the wooden walkway of doom and gulped as seagulls and vultures circled and crowed above. The sea salt filled my nostrils and I began to feel sick.

“b.b.but…” I stammered, one foot tentatively examining the boards.

“But nothing, ya scurvy sea-dog!” he roared, stepping forward and forcing me to put two feet upon the plank.

Captain Billy lowered his sword and jabbed at my ribs. “MOVE!” he barked.
“Oww! Billy, that really hurt” I cried, tears welling up. “Mum! Billy poked me again!”

adamickes-boardwalk

Submitted for Friday Fictioneers photo prompt. See if you can write a piece of flash fiction in 100 words.

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68 thoughts on “The Plank

  1. Dear Mr. Binks,

    How cute is this! Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. Nice, made me chuckle! I think you’ve brilliantly captured the imagination of young children and how it’s all fun and games until someone gets poked in the ribs.

  3. Great twist. Loved it.

  4. Well done. This is a really cute story with the dialoge of a typical child. I enjoyed it.

  5. It’s always fun until it isn’t. Very realistic dialogue!

    janet

  6. Ain’t that the way of it. Walking the plank is fine, but don’t poke anybody. 🙂 Cute story. I remember this sort of thing from when I was small, playing with my sister.
    -David

  7. Adam Ickes says:

    I remember those days with my brother. He was the one doing the poking, the jerk.

  8. paulmclem says:

    Cuteness overload 🙂

  9. JudahFirst says:

    I love how you revealed it to be a game right at the end. Great job! My only “criticism” is a simple grammar one … The comma after “Captain Billy” is separating a subject and verb. I bet it was a typo. 🙂

  10. K.Z. says:

    very cute 🙂 the ending made me smile.

  11. misskzebra says:

    The games we played as children felt so real! I feel the protagonist’s fear. 🙂

  12. That danged ole Billy is a menacing brother!

  13. You made me feel as if I was there with him, Mr Binks. Good one.

  14. Very funny story. Nicely written

  15. Your story stirred up memories of my own childhood
    Well told 🙂

  16. You captured that really well, darling. The transition at the end was seamless.

  17. Mousume says:

    Oh! What a cute story, made me remember my childhood

  18. Liz Young says:

    Billy’s a Bully and no mistake!

  19. AnnIsikArts says:

    Nice surprise ending. Dark became light. Adult became child. Ann

  20. Jim Kane says:

    Nicely done!
    Regards

    Jim

  21. I knew it was brotherly love from the first sentence Nice!

  22. storydivamg says:

    I have to admit, I saw it coming, ,but it’s a cute story nonetheless.

    Cheers!
    MG

  23. atrm61 says:

    Nice (s)word play there Mr Binks-enjoyed this:-)

  24. Great imaginative story. Well done.

  25. Sun says:

    delightful story that takes the memory back to those wonderful role playing days. lovely!

  26. nursewes says:

    I love the use of the unexpected. The use of narration in this short of a story is very sophisticated: acutely aware of the fullness of imagination being framed in a greater reality. Very well done. It would be even stronger if the first sentence did not include the name of the captain. Let that be a part of the reveal, and the narrator will be even more fully wrapped up in his imagination until an untoward reaction to the poking jars him back into the playroom.

    • MrBinks says:

      Hmm, yeah I can see how that would work. Good call. I tend to knock these out in about 10 minutes on a Wednesday morning to be fair, but closer analysis would probably help identify that kind of thing. I’m glad you still enjoyed it, and thanks for the kind feedback.

  27. helenmidgley says:

    That was gloriously sweet 🙂

  28. Nan Falkner says:

    Shoot, my husband had 2 younger brothers and they tied the littlest one to a post in the barn and set it on fire – hubby saved brother over the barn – good choice. This is hilarious and fun. Kids! Thanks, Nan

  29. MrBinks says:

    O_O

    Good grief!

  30. Aah to be a kid again! Way to capture the joys (and pains) of childhood!

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