Mavis Pops To The Shops

Mavis peered through the gap in the curtains.

The storm hung in the air, threatening to unleash its rage in a flurry of rain, hail, thunder and lightning. It‘d been like that for a while.

Mavis released the curtain. The deep red drapes tumbled closed and the room was once again plunged into darkness.

She paced the room, tutting as she did, before folding herself into the weathered wingback chair, her knees creaking in time with the furniture. Her plan to pop to the shops (3 minutes away) had been inconvenienced by the imminent storm for the last half hour.



This piece was submitted as part of Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. 1 photograph. 100 words. Over 120 people taking part. And hey, if you still can’t get enough – why not check out my almost-FREE eBook, People WatchingUS link hereUK link there.


Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

47 thoughts on “Mavis Pops To The Shops

  1. Poor Mavis – I hope she has plenty of supplies.

  2. Our minds and our bodies sometimes refuse the sad fact they are of the same age. Good story.

  3. Thats sad…
    Nicely penned!

  4. The moral of the story? Make the most of your windows of opportunity. Lovely descriptions and parallels, especially the weathered chair and the creaking knees. 🙂

  5. Sandra says:

    Some very effective descriptions here. Nicely done.

  6. Mr. Binks, I think Mavis made the right decidion. Getting soaked wouldn’t be good for her arthritis so her poor knees would creak even more. Well written and humorous as usual. 🙂 —Susan

  7. Liz Young says:

    She’ll have to go eventually – let’s buy her an umbrella!

  8. paulmclem says:

    Some nice phrases, feels like the start of a longer piece.

  9. helenmidgley says:

    Nicely done, and good to see the names back in 😉

  10. Lynda says:

    I recognize those knee symptoms all too well! Nice touch!

  11. Love the title. And the story fits it well with popping to the shopping and popping knees.Nice.

  12. Phew, I know how my knees feel when a storm is approaching. Poor Mavis.

  13. Maree Gallop says:

    Lovely descriptions with great internal and external conflict. Nice read.

  14. storydivamg says:

    In some climates a person could become agoraphobic attempting to wait out an imminent storm.


  15. Changes… the age old story even with age old characters. Nice. Randy

  16. camgal says:

    Aww poor Mavis. Delicate story 🙂

  17. Poor Mavis. At least she had the sense to stay home. Life can be tough – I wonder if it was her shopping or the want of company/routine that had her peering out the window.

  18. Does she ever get there? Those heavy drapes suggest she likes to stay home. I wonder if the storm broke in the end.

  19. Mavis doesn’t pop to the shops afterall – what a twist! The heavy red drapes was a wonderful image. Mavis reminds me of my mum’s Doberman who’s terrified of storms… he and Mavis have a lot in common.

  20. Dear Peter,

    I hate it when weather derails my plans. I feel Mavis’ pain…or maybe it’s just my own creaky knees. .;) Oh wait. Knees fine. Toes bad.



  21. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Mr. Binks, Very descriptive story and I can attest to the rocking noise of a rocking chair keeping time with my knees. This is a great description! Great story, Nan 🙂

  22. pattisj says:

    Sounds like my knees! Good story, the heavy drapes and wing-back chair gave essence to the entire room.

  23. The juxtaposition of the portentous with the mundane made this all the more poignant. Loved it.

Don't be shy, leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: