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Mavis Pops To The Shops

Mavis peered through the gap in the curtains.

The storm hung in the air, threatening to unleash its rage in a flurry of rain, hail, thunder and lightning. It‘d been like that for a while.

Mavis released the curtain. The deep red drapes tumbled closed and the room was once again plunged into darkness.

She paced the room, tutting as she did, before folding herself into the weathered wingback chair, her knees creaking in time with the furniture. Her plan to pop to the shops (3 minutes away) had been inconvenienced by the imminent storm for the last half hour.

 

 

This piece was submitted as part of Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. 1 photograph. 100 words. Over 120 people taking part. And hey, if you still can’t get enough – why not check out my almost-FREE eBook, People Watching. US link here, UK link there.

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47 responses to “Mavis Pops To The Shops”

  1. FabricatingFiction

    Poor Mavis – I hope she has plenty of supplies.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Dog food and hairnets mostly.

      Reply
      1. FabricatingFiction

        🙂

  2. Snow’s Fissures and Fractures

    Our minds and our bodies sometimes refuse the sad fact they are of the same age. Good story.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  3. Satya Rekha Ramaswamy

    Thats sad…
    Nicely penned!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you.

      Reply
  4. Natalie Bowers (@nembow)

    The moral of the story? Make the most of your windows of opportunity. Lovely descriptions and parallels, especially the weathered chair and the creaking knees. 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Natalie.

      Reply
  5. Sandra

    Some very effective descriptions here. Nicely done.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Sandra – a little different to my usual contribution.

      Reply
  6. patriciaruthsusan

    Mr. Binks, I think Mavis made the right decidion. Getting soaked wouldn’t be good for her arthritis so her poor knees would creak even more. Well written and humorous as usual. 🙂 —Susan

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for the kind comment.

      Reply
  7. Liz Young

    She’ll have to go eventually – let’s buy her an umbrella!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      She probably had six of them already.

      Reply
  8. paulmclem

    Some nice phrases, feels like the start of a longer piece.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Cheers.

      Reply
  9. helenmidgley

    Nicely done, and good to see the names back in 😉

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Just for you 😉

      Reply
  10. Lynda

    I recognize those knee symptoms all too well! Nice touch!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Alas, I think I do too.

      Reply
  11. aliciajamtaas

    Love the title. And the story fits it well with popping to the shopping and popping knees.Nice.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks, sounds like you put more thinking into that than I did if I’m honest 😉

      Reply
  12. lingeringvisions by Dawn

    Phew, I know how my knees feel when a storm is approaching. Poor Mavis.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      🙂 Poor, crazy, Mavis.

      Reply
  13. Maree Gallop

    Lovely descriptions with great internal and external conflict. Nice read.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you Maree.

      Reply
  14. storydivamg

    In some climates a person could become agoraphobic attempting to wait out an imminent storm.

    Cheers!
    MG

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Indeed! Just get out there!

      Reply
  15. The Writers Village

    Changes… the age old story even with age old characters. Nice. Randy

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Cheers, Randy.

      Reply
  16. camgal

    Aww poor Mavis. Delicate story 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you for reading.

      Reply
  17. siobhanmcnamara

    Poor Mavis. At least she had the sense to stay home. Life can be tough – I wonder if it was her shopping or the want of company/routine that had her peering out the window.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I think she was just a nosey bugger 😉

      Reply
  18. patrickprinsloo

    Does she ever get there? Those heavy drapes suggest she likes to stay home. I wonder if the storm broke in the end.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Nice that you want to question it. Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  19. Jessie Ansons

    Mavis doesn’t pop to the shops afterall – what a twist! The heavy red drapes was a wonderful image. Mavis reminds me of my mum’s Doberman who’s terrified of storms… he and Mavis have a lot in common.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      hahaha.

      Thanks for reading, Jessie.

      Reply
  20. rochellewisoff

    Dear Peter,

    I hate it when weather derails my plans. I feel Mavis’ pain…or maybe it’s just my own creaky knees. .;) Oh wait. Knees fine. Toes bad.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Oh you and your toes 😉

      Reply
  21. Nan Falkner

    Dear Mr. Binks, Very descriptive story and I can attest to the rocking noise of a rocking chair keeping time with my knees. This is a great description! Great story, Nan 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Nan.

      Reply
  22. pattisj

    Sounds like my knees! Good story, the heavy drapes and wing-back chair gave essence to the entire room.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Why thank you.

      Reply
  23. etiennehanratty

    The juxtaposition of the portentous with the mundane made this all the more poignant. Loved it.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Careful, love is a strong word.

      Reply

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