This is where you are and this is what we're doing

The Room

Back to back the pair sat together apart.

They both heard the buzzer.
He thought it was her turn.
She, in turn, thought it was his.

They sat in silence, save for the click-clack of fingers on keys.

A second buzz. Longer this time.
The tapping of text intensified.
Eyes pierced screens.

The temperature rose in the room they’d earmarked as a nursery, but now called an office.

A knock at the door, then at the window.
He stopped, just briefly.
She sighed, deliberately.

Outside of the gate the Stork tutted, shushed the package, ruffled his feathers, and left.

This flash fiction/short story, call it what you will, was written for Friday Fictioneers.

I’m not sure why the last two stories have followed a slight theme. I can assure you I’m not broody!

Thanks to Rochelle as ever for hosting, and Jean L. Hays for this week’s photo prompt. Click here to read this week’s stories from other writers around the world.

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36 responses to “The Room”

  1. neilmacdon

    I suspect there may be a boom in births nine or so months from noew

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Sometimes I think that, but other times I think that people are so damned stressed right now that maybe that will cancel it out!

      Reply
  2. Sandra

    I love everything about this. The study of preoccupation, the layered history. Beautiful!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Please may I print and frame this comment?
      Thanks so much!

      Reply
  3. rochellewisoff

    Dear Peter,

    Do we need to have that chat about the birds and the bees? Seriously I love this story. i wonder if the stork delivered the package elsewhere. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I blame myself. I start down a serious track, and then end up sideswiping myself with silliness.

      Reply
      1. rochellewisoff

        And brilliantly, at that. 😉

  4. Iain Kelly

    The portrayal of modern life during lockdown is genius. Very well done, and I liked the silly but also poignant twist ending.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for a lovely comment.

      Reply
      1. Iain Kelly

        You’re welcome.

  5. ceayr

    The first line irritated me slightly, but I thought the rest was well written, and the ending is a nailer!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      “Irritated”, oofff, not my intention obviously – but you’ve caught me. I cocked up the first line and a subsequent one with 2 “silently”s so had to make a last minute edit. Probably why it feels a bit tacked on.

      Thanks for the comment.

      Reply
      1. ceayr

        I almost never comment negatively, but your writing is so good, this is an excellent piece, and the ending, as I said, is a belter, so I felt it only fair to tell you I was disappointed with the start.
        If that was your usual standard I would have said nothing, but I think you are better than that.
        Still friends?

      2. MrBinks

        *grumble grumble* Spose. *grumble grumble*

        As I say, I think it’s really interesting that you’ve picked up on something that I edited in a rush. You can actually hear the original words in the narration. Shows I shouldn’t rush things I’d say.

      3. ceayr

        Editing is always dangerous, and last minute editing catches us all sometimes.
        Doesn’t make you a bad writer.
        Or a bad person.

  6. Tannille

    Those damn storks. Great story.

    Reply
  7. Anita

    Both are at work. No time for the stork 🙂

    Reply
  8. granonine

    What a beautifully unique take on this prompt! How sad. Sure hope someone gets that little package!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you 🙂

      Reply
  9. Gabriella

    The office may have to be turned back into a nursery, if they can be bothered to look outside.

    Reply
  10. Polly Cullen

    Uh oh – sounds like ‘babymaking’ was a fad and they’re over it now!

    Reply
  11. J.A. Prentice

    Wow. There’s a lot going on here – things lurking beneath the surface, as with all great writing.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks very much.

      Reply
  12. trishsplace

    How clever. Keep looking at your screens, and you’ll miss out 🤣 And, someone else will answer it!

    Reply
  13. Keith’s Ramblings

    That’s about the only thing Amazon doesn’t deliver these days! Storks’ jobs are safe – for now.

    Here’s mine!

    Reply
  14. justjoyfulness

    Awesome piece of writing! The disconnect is so well captured.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Many thanks 🙂

      Reply
  15. Bernadette Braganza

    It’s a pity the Stork had a wasted trip. A really nice piece.

    Reply
  16. Dale

    What a wonderfully written story – so much told and not said.
    My dog sat up and looked at me wondering why I didn’t answer the door!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Ah, thanks! 🙂

      Reply
  17. Alicia Jamtaas

    Oh, my! This is so well done! I loved everything (including the first line) but I’m glad ceayr commented about it. Sometimes a little critiquing is good for us. I hear Friday Fictioneers actually started out as more of a critique group. I appreciate it when someone takes the time to “edit” one of my pieces. It means they’ve taken time. Anyway, kudos to you on this one.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you for reading, and for the lovely comment. It’s nice comments like this that make me start to wonder what would happen if I took more than 20 minutes to write a short story once a week.

      Reply
  18. Bill

    I am impressed. Well done!

    Reply
  19. Nobbinmaug

    I took the ending more as metaphorical than silly. Viewed in the light, it’s very poignant and well done.

    Reply
  20. Na’ama Yehuda

    And here I thought it was the cabbage patch! 😉
    Seriously, though, this was very well done! The tension and the unfolding of the story, then the mirrored devastation in the end. Nice!

    Reply
  21. Brenda’s Thoughts

    The silliness of the ending didn’t deter from the depth of the story. Brilliant!

    Reply

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