There will be cereal

I’ve noticed that I’ve been eating a hell of a lot more junk food lately.
Now I’m not saying that’s your fault, but it certainly needs to be addressed. I need to be disciplined.
Action needs taking against the consumption of white bread, of crisps and of cheese. You know you’re in trouble when you look back at a fortnights worth of munching and realise that you quite possibly have eaten cheese in some form or another every single day.

So today there will be a weigh in. Something I don’t do very often, because, well, I don’t care for it. I know I’m heavy. One of my legs weighs roughly the same as a Justin Bieber, so I’m not going to learn anything by weighing myself every day; in fact, I don’t think anyone gains anything from doing that. However, when you start to feel like a sloth then something needs to be done and so today there will be a weigh in and because I’m of the geeky variety, I’ll be using Wii Fit to track my progress.

I’ve always disagreed with Wii Fit’s decision to call almost anyone with an ounce of body fat MORBIDLY OBESE, and thankfully I have fairly thick skin (actually, my skin is the same density as crete paper) but sticks and stones and all that. What Wii Fit does do well, is the ability to give me a pretty graph that I can look at whilst eating an eclair.

So there will be a weigh in. There will also be cereal. The best way for me to ignore my biggest enemies (namely bread, cheese, myself and crisps) is to cut out the packed lunch mentality engrained in me since school and to ignore those wicked vices,turning instead to the delights of cereal. Lovely, lovely, cheesy cereal.

Wish me luck.

Cheese,
You tasty fucker.
In your coat made from bread and some butter.
Why must you look at me with those come-to-bed-eyes
that glint and that wink that just makes me die.

You know I love you.

So why must I hide you away from my heart
when all that I want is to take you apart,
with my teeth and my jaws working in tandem.
Oh yeah, the fat, the cholesterol and all that calcium.

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