Me. You. Coffee.

A 100 word story by

MrBinks

·

My Lollipop

-This lollipop tastes funny.
That’s nice dear. What lollipop?

-This one.
But I didn’t give you a…

-I found it.
Where?

-Here.
Where is here?

-If you look at me, you’d see.
You got it from the floor?

-Yes.
Why?

-I was hungry.
If you’re hungry, then you ask mummy or daddy for something.

-I did. But then I found a lollipop.
I don’t think you did.

-But it’s on a stick?
It is. But I don’t think it’s a lollipop, Sweetie.

-What is it then?
That’s a good question. Could you give it to mummy?

-No. It’s my lollipop.

This piece was submitted as part of Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. 1 photograph. 100 words. Often with over 100 people taking part.

unidentifiable-on-a-stick

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Responses to “My Lollipop”

  1. rochellewisoff

    Dear Peter,

    I think mummy needs to snatch that before he puts it in his mouth. Yuck! Cute dialogue.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for the kind comment, Rochelle.

      Reply
  2. appropriateadult

    Ha ha. How many conversations with children go this way? Jolly well observed piece of writing. Liked it. A lot.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Cheers, sir.

      Reply
  3. Snow’s Fissures and Fractures

    Funny and yucky at the same time, that is a serious accomplishment.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      huzzah!

      Reply
  4. The Writer’s Village

    Time for a good swish of Listerine…. or maybe soap top teach him/her a lesson

    Cute dialogue. Randy

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks, glad you liked it.

      Reply
  5. Claire Fuller

    Really well observed dialogue with the distracted mother. I have been there, I’m sure.
    Claire

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks – pleased that you noticed the distracted mum 🙂

      Reply
  6. Sandra

    This has the irrefutable ring of five year old logic about it. 🙂 Well done.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      What do you mean, 5 year old? This was a conversation I had with my mum two days ago. 😉

      Reply
  7. wmqcolby

    Great, Binks! You caught the essence of the five year-old very well. 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Cheers!

      Reply
  8. Sorchia D

    You made me say “Eeeoooo! ” out loud. Good job:)

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      ha ha

      Reply
  9. lingeringvisions by Dawn

    This was my first instinct as well. How many times I have dove at my child before he put something disgusting in his mouth? You wrote it well.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      It’s more a diary entry than anything 😉

      Reply
  10. aliciajamtaas

    This is perfect! I thought the same thing…. YUCK!!!!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Perfect is strong, but I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply
  11. R. E. Hunter

    A parent’s nightmare (one of many). Very realistic.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  12. i b arora

    interesting,wish i could attempt something like this

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      There’s nothing stopping you! Go for it.

      Reply
  13. Douglas MacIlroy

    Dear Mr. Binks,

    Mummy should just let him eat it. Funny and realistic take on the prompt.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks Doug.

      Reply
  14. shanx

    I don’t think mummy will be able to snatch it now. Too late.. it’s his lollipop already 😀 haha! Good take on the prompt.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  15. wildbilbo

    Wow, you’ve met my toddler then :).

    Cute story, well driven by the short and endearing dialogue.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Yours and mine both! 🙂 Thanks for the lovely comment.

      Reply
  16. patrickprinsloo

    Fun. Hope it’s nothing too bad.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Who knows? 🙂

      Reply
  17. Sightsnbytes

    I love this one! I could easily see my son doing that when he was younger…and maybe still

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Lovely comment, thanks for reading.

      Reply
  18. Anasuya Rampalli Chitta

    Kids! right! my son picks up just about anything!!! cool observation.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Glad you liked it.

      Reply
  19. storydivamg

    Good dialogue this week, Mr. Binks. A parent’s nightmare for sure.

    Cheers!
    MG

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Glad you liked the dialogue, MG; there wasn’t much else in there to like if you didn’t ;D

      Reply
  20. Nan Falkner

    Dear Mr. Binks – Cute story and Mummy had better jump before he puts into his mouth! Great story! Nan 🙂

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      …again.

      Reply
  21. MythRider

    Cute. Made me smile. So like a precocious child.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you.

      Reply
  22. talesfromthemotherland

    Totally nailed that mom and child back and forth! Nice job, Mr Binks!

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      Thank you, glad your thought so.

      Reply
  23. AnnIsikArts

    I like the rhythm of this. It reads like ‘rap’ and that’s exactly how mother/child dialogues can sound. Well done. I’ll have to remember to think of dialogue in terms of rhythm. I suppose it’s a sort of music.

    Reply
    1. MrBinks

      I hadn’t consciously noticed, but thank you.

      Reply

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