Tag Archives: 1st person

Get a job

It’s not all fun and games sitting at home playing video games. Being at home all day creates this nagging sensation that perhaps one should actually do some of those jobs that one doesn’t normally get around to until the weekend and which, because it’s the weekend, one then doesn’t feel compelled to do.

All of which basically means washing up, washing clothes, cleaning the bathroom and constantly tidying up after children is drastically eating into my Xbox time.

In fact after the kids are dropped off, the morning chores are done and I’ve fired off enough job applications to sate my guilt glands, I normally have just the right amount of time to watch the loading screen for GTA before the kids are knocking on the door. I’ve tried closing the curtains. I’ve parked my car a few roads away. I’ve even put up a SOLD sign in the front garden but those little humans just keep returning.

The days don’t return though. They keep disappearing. One minute I think I’ve got all the time in the world. The next minute, the world is another week older and my inbox is a little bit fatter with “thanks for your interest,”s and “we’ll keep your CV on file,”s.

I should definitely get a job. Getting a job would slow the clock right down.


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Over the hill

The 7th was a par 5. A long par 5 at that. If they’d let you have a par 6 it would have been a par 6.

Anyway, I teed off and hit a lovely ol’ shot. Straight down the fairway. Geoff followed. Landed in the rough about 45 yards from me.

No change there.

Shot 2 just about got us both over the hill. It was a real blind shot. The crest was such that you always have to wait for the bell to ring before you play.

Someone should have told the jokers behind us.

Poor old Geoff.


Submitted for Friday Fictioneers photo prompt. See if you can write a piece of flash fiction in 100 words.



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I am the walrus (part the 2nd)

…and it wasn’t just one inanimate object we had to write about, oh no. We were under pressure baby! in 15 minutes we had to come up with 4. Time is fleeting, so by the time I’d cranked my brain into gear after around 6 minutes of dusting off I managed 2 and a half pieces. Here’s the second one. It made me smile and  the group chortle, squirm and go “ooooh rude words!”


My life isn’t exactly what you’d call glamorous. Hell it’s not even good. Not like that bathroom cabinet, getting cleaned every other day and handled like it’s made of glass.

No, my life is literally full of shit. They come, they sit, they shit. On the good days, I’m lucky enough to get a bit of a scrub, on the really good days the fresh fragrant smell of pine. The bad days are something else altogether.

They don’t even flush. Dirty assholes.

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I am the walrus (part I)

More learning last night. It’s good to learn. It fills you up. Sometimes it feels you up, certainly if you’re a bit of a deviant and get off on that kind of thing.

We discussed P.O.V. and the effect this can have on your story, be it from a host of different characters or from a narration perspective, or both, as well as whether to choose to write from the 1st, 2nd or 3rd person. 2nd person?! Yeah. That’s what I thought too. Sounds interesting; more on that next week.

So here be the challenge, mateys. From a 1st person p.o.v write an account from an inanimate object in different rooms of the house.

Object 1

God I love it when she turns me on. That flicker of electricity that courses through me, the gentle buzz that emanates from the very elements of my soul. I’ve heard her talk about me. She once told her husband that I light up the entire room. I’d never been so proud. I could have shone forever and a day. Don’t get me wrong, some days are dark. I feel cold and lonely looking down at the floor. The dog’s not much company either. Never wants to play. I wonder if she knows he sits on the sofa when she’s out?

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